Everyday Life of a N00b
by Damsel in Shining Armor
Summary: They say a wise man's day is worth a fool's life. So what does that make MY day? Worthless? Pathetic? A failure?... Fools have feelings too.


**A/N: **Oh, wow. This thing is _ancient. _I found it when deleting my old documents and it brought back memories. I haven't played DOMO in forever. Anyway, this was a submission to a writing contest (forgot who hosted it, my apologies) where I managed to snag second place.

* * *

**Disclaimer****: **I do not own _Dream of Mirror Online._

* * *

_Everyday Life of a N00b_

* * *

"Kukukukuku!"

I let out a groan and pulled up the sheets to cover my head.

"Kukukukuku!"

Stupid, stupid, birds!

"Kukukukuku!"

I sat up on my bed, grabbed my dagger that was on the bedside table, and threw it right at the Kuku Papa outside my window.

"Kukuku... ku... u..." Oh thank Chasm King, some peace and quiet- Wait.

Holy PUPU! My eyes flew open and I glanced back out the window. The dagger I threw was a gift from my teacher, and it was _gone _along with that dead Kuku Papa. She is going to kill me back and forth till I reach top 1 in the Death billboard if she finds out I don't have it!

I pulled the covers off of me, placed my feet on the ground, and slipped on something, making me fall face down on the floor. My eye twitched in annoyance as I glanced behind me to see what caused my sudden act of gracefulness.

My Ruby was glaring at me, and I could see an imprint of my foot on his back. He opened his mouth, ready to cast Flame on me.

... Could this morning get any worse?

* * *

I licked my fingers and pinched a lock of hair that still had a small fire. Now was one of the rare moments I actually felt sorry for the monsters that were always the victims of my Ruby's skills. I looked down at the firebat cat in my arms, purring in delight at not having to float alongside of me. And, ugh, he was _heavy_. He ate _five _Kuku Eggs for breakfast! Ever since he reached his second evolution he's been eating like crazy!

The only reason I'm even bringing him is to make him sniff out that dead Kuku Papa and dagger. But noooo, he just had to act like a majesty and request to be fed and walked (is this even considered walking?) because I accidently stepped on him. As if Flaming my face hadn't been enough.

"Lazy fat ass," I muttered.

I felt him tense in my hold.

Oh shi-

* * *

Sometimes, I wonder who the real owner is between me and my Ruby.

After brushing his coat of fur, I forced a smile. "_Now _will you help me find that dagger, my oh so wonderful and majestic Ruby?"

He stared at me for a while.

"Oh, come on! Look, I'm _sorry _that I couldn't meet to your demands to buy a pet naming tag in compensation for stepping on and insulting you, okay? That intermediate evolution stone already burned a hole through my pocket, just bear with Ruby Egg I for a little longer... So _please_, will you help me find that dagger?" I pleaded, hands together and practically bowing to him.

He let out a scoff before floating down to the ground and sniffing the holster of the dagger. I almost jumped in joy. For once, he was actually listening to me! As much as Rubies are strong and all, their superiority complex is over the top because of that. No wonder why my friends go for Sapphires and Rocks.

My Ruby stopped sniffing the item and then floated away. I immediately followed after it.

* * *

I looked up to see Phoenix Tower in front of me. I pointed at it. "This is where my dagger went?" I asked.

Ruby Egg I nodded.

"... Really?" The fact that my dagger and the _dead _Kuku Papa disappeared was already a mystery, but to wind up in Phoenix Tower?

Ruby Egg I glared at me.

I raised up my hands in defeat. "Sheesh, I apologize for doubting your sense of smell."

I entered the tower, following my Ruby who was going floor from floor. We stopped in front of an MBoP team, he sniffed around the doc and muse who were on the side, a bit farther from the tanks and AoEs who were in the middle of the fray. The doc was too busy healing and casting buffs to notice, but the sprite muse looked down at the Ruby next to him. He smiled and patted the Ruby, forgetting to play his instrument.

Fail muse.

"Hello there little one, what are you doing here?" he asked Ruby Egg I.

My Ruby sniffed him more and pushed his mouth into the sprite's jacket-

Don't tell me that guy _stole _my dagger-

-and pulled out a Pet Treat. He nommed on it happily.

"WTF?" I exclaimed accidently into the broadcast channel. I got various responses of "FTW?", "hey aphy! o/", "o.o;", etc. I turned off broadcast so I could concentrate on the Ruby before me. "You led me all the way to Phoenix Tower for a freakin' _treat_? You lazy, rude, spoiled-"

The sprite muse glared at me, "Hey, don't talk to your Ruby like that. These pets deserve a lot more than you owners give him. Why don't _you _try to do what he's doing?"

I stared at the guy that was half my size. He must have a nice Ruby... why can't I get a pet like that? "Dude, seriously, don't butt in. This is between me and my Ruby, m'kay? I'll pay for that treat later."

He glared at me. It wasn't scary. "Look here, you big meanie-"

"MUSE!"

We both turned around, only to see a hoard of MBoPS, but not the team. There was a * MBoP boss that spawned, not to mention their MP was probably depelted to cause such a result: The tank was dead, the AoEs tele-ed away, the doc ran to the teleport portal, and now the dozen of birds were looking at the muse and me.

I frowned and faced my Ruby, who was looking back at me.

I glanced at the muse... that disappeared, probably ran away too.

I looked at the tank on the floor, and noticed it was my guild mate.

I tuned back into guild chat, and noted how the dead guildie was blaming me for distracting the muse and yadda yadda yadda. Psh, n00bs. He was wearing level 15 heavy armor. It took me a while to notice that the MBoPs were still staring at me while I was talking in guild chat. By the time I did... I had half depleted HP and the * boss was beating the heck out of me.

I was on my level 37 muse, dammit! Can't I handle these birds?-

ASDFGHJKL! 50HP left! I immediately cast First Aid, but then I heard a snickering sound. I glared at my Ruby, "Stop laughing and help me!" My Ruby stared at me for a while before nodding and appearing by my side. We faced the dozen of birds before us and the * boss. I grabbed my Posh Banjo and smirked. Time to play.

I cast Inner Magic, Regeneration, and Premonition in a flash, and used Power Ballad on my Ruby. When I noted how half of the mobs were attacking Ruby Egg I, I immediately cast Soothing Serenade and Supersonic Swipe to grab all the aggro. I dodged a peck from the * MBoP and spammed Sonic Swipe and Pet Snack on it, all the while casting First Aid in random intervals. My Ruby was fairing pretty well, and its damage was pretty good over all.

It's during these instances when I realize that going through the torture of taking care of a Ruby is totally worth it.

My Ruby accidently drew the aggro of one MBoP, and when it was about to strike, he went towards me and flew up, causing the peck attack to hit me, right in the middle of the tattoo on my forehead.

And it's during those instances when I realize that I should have gotten a Rock instead.

The hit on my head was pretty hard and I staggered a bit, trying to get rid of the dizziness. When I finally recovered, my HP was at 10 and another * MBoP spawned from one of the monsters my Ruby killed.

_[12:12] Aphrodi's guiding star fell. You can vaguely hear * Male Bird of Paradise laugh._

Psh, more like Ruby Egg I laughing.

(Oh $#!%, _now _I realize I was fighting naked.)

* * *

After reviving back at Eversun City, getting ridiculed by my guild at dieing on my level 37 muse from level 25 mobs, and getting some lunch at the Inn with a couple of guild mates, I bought a Pet Treat to bribe Ruby Egg I into sniffing out the dagger for _real _this time.

He happily agreed and led me out of the city, we headed towards Eversun South's Pandora's Platform. Unlike Phoenix Tower, I had a bit more hope in this area, since this is where those blasted Kuku Papas spawn.

I floated up the stairs of the platform after my Ruby, looking back at times to see all the Kuku Papas staring at us... I have a very bad feeling about this. We arrived in the very center, and I stood there shocked... Oh, _hell _no! Please don't tell me it's happening again!

There was a human girl in the middle, a pan and some firewood before her, and a Kuku Egg was being cooked. She looked up at us in question. "Is there something you need?" she asked with a tilt of her head in confusion.

Ruby Egg I immediately went to her side and purred, rubbing his head against her arms. She giggled and picked him up without any effort (he weighs a _ton_, so how...?). "Is he yours?" she asked me.

I nodded. "Yes... and he will be a pet that will never, ever get summoned again."

She frowned at my choice of words. "Is something the matter with him? He seems like a nice, loyal pet." The stupid pet purred even more.

My eye twitched in annoyance. "... Forget it." No one believes me when I say Rubies are evil. "What are you doing out here anyway? And cooking Kuku Eggs no less?"

I caught a glimpse of a smirk before it disappeared and she faced me with a smile... Okaaay. "I just find cooking in the wilderness more exciting. That and there are always a bunch of weak people that pass by here to... speak and teach to."

"... Um, okay. That's very nice of you." I fidgeted at her stare. "Well, me and Ruby Egg I have to go now so-" Before I could say the next word, her dagger was at my throat.

Of _all _the people my Ruby could've found food from, it just _had _to be a level 40 thief.

"Now then, drop whatever gold, mats, tools, IM items, and costumes you have-"

"You do know that costumes are considered IM items, right?"

She frowned a bit before nodding, "Come to think of it, oh yeah-"

In her moment of thought, I went down and floated steps away from her, before facing her again to fight... only to be met with her running towards me in quick speed. She kept attacking me with her dagger, but I was quick enough to dodge all of her attacks... well, not all, there were tears in my clothes and I had a bad cut on my right arm. She didn't give me anytime to equip my instrument... wait, that reminds me.

I avoided an attack by dodging down and then glanced at my Ruby who was eating the cooked Kuku Egg. "HELP ME!11"

Ruby Egg I looked up at me, then went back to eating.

Stupid, traitorous, lazy, fat-

I got hit right at the stomach, coughing out some blood. She used Throw Knife at me while I was distracted, and now my HP was at 15. Ugh, this is _not _good. She reached into my inventory and was about to get my pack of gold, but while searching for it, I equipped my Posh banjo and cast Transfusion Tune on myself.

* * *

I appeared again at the revival point in Eversun City. I rubbed my temples to calm myself down a bit before facing my now-full Ruby. "Lead me to food _one more time _and you are _dead_," I said in a threatening voice that caused others to glance at me in fear.

But my Ruby was unfazed.

* * *

Third time's a charm, right?

After feeding my pet _yet another _Pet Treat, we headed towards Copperhorn Mountain. Why? I have absolutely no idea. After floating for a few more hours, we arrived at a teleport portal. I looked down at my map. My eye twitched in annoyance. "Dragon's Den. WTF would my dagger be doing in _Dragon's Den? _Do you want me_-_!" I was met with a Blaze inches away from my face.

That shut me up.

"There's something here," Ruby Egg I said.

... I only nodded and followed after him. Unlike other pets, my Ruby was the 'strong and silent' type. He rarely spoke, the only time he opens his mouth is to cast skills and eat. So having him use actual words with me instead of actions must mean this must be pretty serious.

My eyes narrowed in suspicion. My Ruby hated me. He would never take my problems seriously, so why...?

When done with the loading page, we appeared in Dragon's Den, and I gulped at all the 'You'll regret it!' monsters. My Ruby told me the coordinates of where my dagger was and went back into its egg form, un-summoning himself. So, he left me alone with level 50+ monsters... Why haven't I gotten used to him torturing me?

I quickly floated to the side, and began heading towards my destination. I made it a couple of meters before a Noisy Snake spotted me. I froze in place and we stared at each other. I was sweating bullets and it was probably wondering why a weakling like me was here. When it finished contemplating, it headed towards me in quick speed.

-insert a long list of swear words here-

I was sure to get 1 hit KO'd from this monster! I ran as quick as could, but it caused even more snakes to glance my way and follow me. If one stops chasing me, two more wound up doing it. By the time I hit my destination, a total of eight snakes were behind me. I said a silent prayer before looking up to see what my Ruby had told me to find...

Ha.

Haha...

Hahahahahahahah... ha.

There was a huge, big, GINORMOUS egg right in front of me. Thrice my size, and most probably a dragon egg, of whom I have no idea. When the initial shock came over, it occurred to me that I already died. My vision went red and I was on the floor, glancing up at the snakes that began retreating.

Three times, I died _three times _today. At least one was PvP, but still, 20% down the drain. And all because my Ruby was a glutton.

There were no more snakes near me, and the one that usually spawns around this spot was being attacked by someone. It was a human boy. He glanced at me and sweat dropped. "Are you suicidal or something?"

I narrowed my eyes, trying to get a better view of him from the red haze. It was my guild's chairperson, so he obviously saw the various messages of my guiding star falling. "... Just a little bit."

"What are you doing here anyway?" he asked, as he finished off one Flying Noisy Snake and headed to another.

I explained to him my story, he laughed at me. I tried my best to glare at him, but it wasn't very effective with me on the floor. After a few seconds, he didn't speak for a while, thinking about something, before saying, "Pets normally don't disobey their owners."

"My pet hates me."

"Either way, they should still follow you... what's his loyalty at?"

"Forty-six."

"Once they hit below fifty, they stop following your orders."

"... I did not know that." UGH, I'm going n00b again.

He chuckled, "Obviously." After finishing off another FNS, he walked towards me and traded me two things, a Gold Resurrection Plate and a Fidelity Fruit. "Think of it as a payment for the entertainment you bring," he said with a grin.

"Shut up. I'll send my payment by mail... and thank you."

"No problem. Think of it as charity."

Oh yeah, because I'm poor and in need of help- wait... that describes me perfectly.

* * *

I grumbled under my breath a few profanities before feeding Ruby Egg I the Fidelity Fruit. It purred and began nomming on it. After a few seconds, he finished eating, and we _finally _began our search for the dagger.

My eyes narrowed in suspicion at the firebat cat before me. "Why are we heading back home?"

He remained silent and continued floating to the side of the house. I followed after him until we were outside the window sill, where I shot my dagger at the Kuku Papa. My Ruby headed towards the bushes and ruffled it a bit, causing it to move a bit sideways.

And there, right under my window, was the dagger.

Ruby Egg I stared at me with a small quirk in his lips. He was no doubt laughing at my stupidity. And I just stood there, still in shock, before grabbing the dagger and entering the house, my Ruby following from behind. I went on a long tirade on my fail and just kept on complaining. My Ruby just ignored me. After resting a couple of minutes, we ate dinner, took care of our basic nighttime necessities, and headed to bed.

I pulled my covers over my body, and lay in bed, facing the ceiling... and just contemplated on all the useless things I did today.

I spent the entire day looking for something that was right under my nose.

I died four times because I failed to read about loyalty.

I didn't even get an ounce, in fact, I _lost _a good amount of EXP today.

I planned on leveling today... maybe next week.

...

I smiled and closed my eyes. I wonder what tomorrow would bring.


End file.
